For us what helped was to sorta go the opposite way, so we wrecked towers that we built, we splattered out pretty pictures etc… all only if he agreed to it . I don’t want to give the impression that I went around wrecking things as a measure of tough love. Not my style. I also realized that I would often say “Perfect!” as praise, I quickly stopped that and instead used specific praise, praise about his effort etc… For us this and trying to focus on process vs product with everything helped a lot. However having two very achievement focused parents ( albeit both of whom try not to be like that too much) some tendencies are simply expected .