I get asked all the time if I have a ready for kindergarten checklist. I don’t. A few days ago I decided I was going to write one, but I couldn’t do it. It didn’t feel right.
I get it. Making sure your child is ready for kindergarten is stressful. Making sure they will thrive in our increasingly high stakes schools, not get bullied, and make it to the bathroom on time every time is enough to worry about but what about the academics? Does she need to know how to add and subtract? Does he need to know all the shapes before going into kindergarten? Little Jane down the street is reading. Should my child be reading too? Where did I put that checklist?
Put away the checklist, at least for a few minutes and hear me out.
There will be days when your child won’t thrive. Maybe weeks.
There will be days when a friend isn’t kind and days when your child isn’t.
There will be days when they struggle with the academics and length of school day.
There may even be days when you get a call from the nurse because your child needs new pants.
But there will also be many days filled with exploration, days filled with independence, and new experiences. Days filled with learning.
We don’t have to make our children’s lives free of all challenges. We don’t have to fix all their problems and erase their struggles. In fact, it’s better if we don’t. Children need to learn how to navigate challenges and are we forgetting that young children are amazing competent people? Like each of us, they bring their talents and weaknesses with them wherever they go.
Starting kindergarten may be a challenge or a cakewalk for your child. Most likely it will be somewhere in the middle. You can check every item off a ready for kindergarten checklist and still have a sad, bored, or overwhelmed kid on your hands come September. You could also have a child who only hit some of those items but is ready to learn and end up thriving, by all means surpassing the child who may be reading but can”™t behave in a group larger than 3. Children don”™t fit into checklists, especially 4 and 5-year-olds.
Checklists have their place and are great to make sure there are no major developmental delays, use them along with your well-child visits to the pediatrician, to assess your child generally. If there are red flags, by all means, seek out help, if your gut is telling you your child needs help even if they hit all the items on the checklist listen to it and advocate for your child. If you have no idea what a child ready for kindergarten looks like by all means contact your district, and I am sure they will have some sort of handout or checklist for you to read. Read it, but remember that children develop at their own pace and no amount of force will hurry some steps up.
My daughter is off to kindergarten in the fall, and I feel the pressure too. She is enrolled in preschool as part of my plan to prepare her for kindergarten, I have advocated for her specific needs, and she has received services for speech therapy. I feel pressure to sit down and drill my daughter with sight words and handwriting practice. I have felt the pressure to make sure she is able to read even though I know developmentally children aren’t expected to be reading as they enter kindergarten. Education is a high-stakes environment right now but, it’s your choice to bring those high stakes into your home or not. I choose not to.
I choose to follow my daughter’s interest with the activities I do with her.
I choose to read to her every day even that book over and over and over again because it’s the one she picked.
I choose to encourage her to do it herself. Even when I could do it faster, more accurately, and with way less mess.
I choose to expose her to new experiences that spark her imagination and curiosity.
I choose to listen when she speaks, so she knows she is listened to and will continue to speak up.
I choose to help her problem solve and not fix every challenge right away, so she knows she is capable of fixing problems herself.
I choose to buy her shoes without laces, at least for now, because it’s cruel ( to teachers) to send kids to school with laces if they can’t tie them themselves.
Andrea Turner says
Totally agree with you Alison but, here in the UK, we are statutorily required to do a 2 year old progress check and the government is proposing to formally assess children at 4 year olds. It totally goes against the grain of what I believe is best for the child. Similarly, the government is putting 2 year olds into schools for 15 hours per week. It’s like being trapped inside a nightmare, screaming with no sound coming out.
Allison McDonald says
It’s so hard when the establishment is doing things that are contrary to what we know about child development.
Kate says
Umm, not actually correct. Some parents (usually those of benefits or having being identified as needing extra support) are being offered childcare at 2.
There is no obligation to send your child anywhere til they are 5 or 6 (depends where in the UK)
I’m all for a relaxed approach to education in under 6s and for this reason elected not to send my eldest until she was over 4.
I love that my preschool nursery held great induction meetings and were absolutely adamant that they had no standard checklist, no must have criteria, and had a relaxed, positive and fun approach to life and learning. I know all establishments aren’t created equal but I guess if you can choose carefully one that meets your philosophy as close as possible then you are hitting the ground running anyway.
I completely support the premise of this post…go with the flow, your child will pick up on your anxiety and that’s not a great start for anyone!
susen @Dabbling Momma says
This post has come at the perfect time as my daughter will also be starting kindergarten come this September. I agree with the points you make in this post, thanks for sharing with others! A child starting school is a big deal and can bring up alot of anxiety in parents and your post will hopefully help alleviate some of that.
S Harrington says
Thank you! I needed this!
Terri says
Yes, yes, yes to the shoes without laces! Love this piece Allison and wish I had it a year ago. My youngest started Kindergarten this year and did not hit all the points on the checklist (neither did my oldest when she started). I gave her opportunity to learn some of the things but she had no interest whatsoever. We read, read, and read some more. She learned to entertain herself with only her imagination. She played outside and got to enjoy her time pressure-free. She’s doing fine in kindergarten now. She’s had bad days and even long stretches of bad days. But she’s learning and having fun. And I realize that while those checklists can be a good tool, they’re also not the end all be all.
Allison McDonald says
Yes, they are a tool but not the only way to be prepared. Glad you like it!
Mary says
THANK YOU! Parents are always asking for a checklist….I tell them you will know if your child is ready! This just reaffirmed that children are only young once why push them to grow up so quickly! THANK YOU AGAIN!
candace says
Wow!! What a beautiful piece you wrote!! Thank you.
Kristen says
Thank you Thank you!!! My son is going to kindergarten and has a screening coming up that I’ve tried to not stress about. Perfect post!
TLD says
This totally was not the checklist I was expecting. I thought it was going to be a rant about those mile long supplies lists. My daughter will be going to K this September and I am not looking forward to it.
I haven’t looked an those checklists, except once because it was among the online materials for the school.
Tanya says
Thank you for this article! And thank you for not buying your child shoes with laces. Teachers really do appreciate those little things 🙂
Allison McDonald says
You are so welcome!
annie says
I have a checklist for you. 1. Does your child know that they are deeply loved. 2. Does your child know that they will do great things, but it will take a while to see what those are. 3. Does your child know that nobody was good at anything when they first started. 4. Does your child know that you look for persistence over progress. 5. Does your child know that everyone will be good at different things at different times. 6. Does your child that school is only a PART of life. 7. Does your child know that boredom is a good thing because it makes you creative. (I have started to wonder if all of us parent and caring teachers band together, we could take this schools back from the high stakes mess we have.)
Allison McDonald says
I love this checklist.
CD Greier says
AMEN!
Amie says
An over-prepared child will be bored in Kindergarten. My eldest, now nearly 19, was reading and spelling simple words on his own (I have never pushed early academics but he figured it out through living in a literacy rich environment) and when he began K he was bored. With my current Kindergartener I purposely held off on the preacademics in favor of free play and social emotional development, knowing that a well-prepared Kindergartener is so much more than the list. He may not have had the highest scores on his pre-assessment (he knew some but not all his letter sounds, etc) but his teacher adores how attentive and engaged he is. And by his Jan assessment he was right where he needed to be. I also work as a Pre K instructor for a local district and there is a tremendous amount of pressure for early academics but I advocate daily for free play and a strong focus on social emotional development because I know they are key to school success.
Allison McDonald says
Exactly!
My oldest was old for his age and reading in K and he was bored. I don’t think he’s particularly gifted just a bright kid who I over prepared.
Michelle says
I completely agree with this post and Annie’s list above. There is a quote by Teddy Roosevelt’s dad: “Take care of your morals first, your health next, and finally, your studies.” It is so much more important to me that my children are kind, inquisitive, and healthy, than that they know all their letters or can count to 30 on some externally imposed timetable.
lacey says
Yes! I totally Agree! We Concentrate on good manners, respect and sharing. Even though my son does a pre school program at daycare i sometimes feel like I need to continue it at home too. I have to tell myself so often he is 4. So we work on being a good friend and person and teaching him
things about his world and learning that way as we come to them.
CD Greier says
I do home daycare and have been a teacher of many levels in a private school years ago. I actually believe toddlers’ and preschoolers’ job is to learn to manage themselves as part of a family. We have lots of free play, story books, singing, playground time and helping me. “My” children work on an alphabet scrapbook and related crafts just as exposure to the idea of language, structured activity and, frankly, to appease parental anxiety.
Allison says
Love this!
Jenna says
Thanks for writing this. My middle son’s conference was this week. They want to hold him back another year. He won’t be going to kindergarten until he is 6 because he is not performing so that means he hasn’t mastered the task. We have just moved a few months ago and at the old school they said he was excelling and by the end of the year he would be definitely ready for kindergarten. At the new school he says the teacher doesn’t like him, I can actually see that and said he needs to be medicated but won’t sit and talk to us. I am so heartbroken for him. I am tempted to ask for the other teacher who my youngest has because she is like his old teacher. Am I wrong? Should I send him to kindergarten?
Allison McDonald says
Without knowing your son I would not be able to give a good opinion about if he is ready or not. Who is evaluating him now? Are you at a public school for PreK?
ChristyM says
Thank you! I am not an early childhood expert, but as a mom I knew my child was ready even though the list said he wasn’t. He came through with flying colors.
Shannon says
Hey Allison,
I am a kindergarten teacher and I love your non-list activities. In my mind, the list is more of a guide to help the parents who don’t know where to start. Honestly, I would love it if every parent did what you have chosen to do…it’s sad how often I have to remind parents to read to their children.
Allison McDonald says
It’s interesting since I wrote this I have been thinking more about it – usually when a new comment comes or I see it scroll past on Pinterest. The list is important to scan, and for parents who will do nothing unless it’s on the list. Really this post was for the over-anxious, over prepared, overly type a parent who is stressing when they don’t need to. Thinking about it, it really comes from a place of privilege to be that stressed. So while I agree that the list isn’t needed for that sub-set of people, it is essential for some. I don’t doubt you need to remind parents to read, it makes me so sad, but I believe it.