My first year of teaching preschool many years ago was anything but peaceful. I had an energetic class with some children facing very big challenges. While I finally got my footing and my voice back, I also learned a lot that year about what not to do. I had some of these steps to a peaceful classroom down even back then, but I needed some help. Many years later getting the best out of my young students is much easier, I realized that behavior management for preschool has nothing to do with punishment and everything to do with how you set up their environment, react to their actions and behaviors, and most importantly how you connect with them. Here are my nine lessons about behavior management for preschool. I wish I had known all of these before ever stepping foot in a preschool classroom but instead learned many through experience.
1. Set your students up to succeed. Do not expect a 3-year-old to sit quietly for a 20 minute circle time or a trio of five-year-olds to be able to work next to each other without talking. Support your students’ growth and development with activities and materials that engage and challenge them but avoid frustration.
2.Make routines predictable.Make sure to prep the children when anything out of the ordinary is planned. Anxiety is a major reason for misbehavior in preschool-aged children, it doesn’t always present itself as worry.
3. Do not overstimulate. Children process information slower than we do, and too much input to process results in meltdowns. If you have too many things our for free play, if there is too much noise or too many people crowded together you can have a harder time managing behaviors. I noticed last year that at the start of each month when we would switch themes that behavior would change, it was just too much for some students to have so many new things out. We adjusted and slowly introduced the changes and all returned to normal.
4. Use positive corrections instead of negative ones. ” We walk inside, but when we get outside you can run.” ” Painting is for the easel, why don’t you come help me wash this paint off the car and then you can play with it in when you are done painting.” ” Hitting hurts. When you are angry, you need to use your words and keep your hands on your body.”
5. When you do have to correct a child get down to their level and do it gently and without shame. Avoid using ” I like how Sally is sitting; Sally is sitting perfectly.” instead try ” Sally is showing me she is ready by sitting by the fence.” It is a subtle change but an important one.
6. Notice good behavior and praise it authentically. All children are good; their behavior may be challenging, but the child just wants connection, and it’s our job to find a way to make that connection. Try to find what the misbehaving child is doing right and praise them for that. This is easy to say but sometimes harder to do, but it’s worth it.
7. Selectively ignore bad behaviors. Once you understand a child’s motivations for behaviors you can decide if you can ignore it or not. Of course how it affects other students plays a large role in whether you can ignore it or not. Is it disruptive? Can you move the child to another area within the classroom and allow them to keep it up where it won’t infringe on any other child? Can it be a teachable moment for the whole class without shaming the child?
8. Be a role model and call yourself out when you do something that breaks your classroom’s rules and expectations. Every moment in your classroom is a teachable moment. Just last week I found myself tossing a toy into a bin. I threw a toy inside, which is not permitted. I quickly said ” Oh no I forgot we throw things outside, inside we place them in the bin. I will try that again.” I did try it again by placing the toy in the bin with three children watching who learned from my mistake.
9. Teach about emotions to foster empathy. When children can recognize and respond to classmates emotions they can work more cooperatively and take responsibility for their actions and how they affect others. Here are some circle time activities I use in my class to explore emotions.
10. PLAY with your students. Get down on the ground and pretend to be a lion, drink 50 cups of pretend coffee and make snakes with playdough. That is where your real authority will come from, not by shouting, or making students fear you. Make them love you by playing and connecting with them, and you will see children eager to please. I can not stress this one enough; young children will listen to your requests much more effectively when they feel a connection.
If you were giving advice to a new teacher what would you add to this list?
Nadia @ Adventures in Wonderlab says
I LOVE this list, in particular #6 (“All children are good”)- could not agree more – they are so sweet and eager to do the right thing at this age.
If I could add, it would probably go along with #10… and it would be – Don’t take yourself too seriously. This is preschool, after all. It should be fun, you should be silly (sometimes), and willing to get on the floor and play and really get to know your students. Children should love to go to preschool – their first introduction to school should be fun.
Allison McDonald says
YES!!
I couldn’t agree more to your addition. On Wednesday I was slithering in the gravel with my students – you need to meet them where they are.
Lisa says
Your absolutely correct. All kids don’t come from perfect situations. The teacher has to get to know her parents and kids. It’s hard not easy like a textbook example.
Po Tim King says
Thanks for this wonderful post. There are so many good stuff and insight there, I’m not sure if I can add more in. But I think to prepare myself, including get up early, help myself to have a better mood of that day, maybe laugh in front of the mirror, set up everything even the day before, etc. I think it will help everyone to prepare when chaos arrives in the classroom, so we can keep our cool and remember most of the things from your list.
Allison McDonald says
Yes! I go for a quick run or a brisk walk before teaching, it helps center me before the day.
Lavye says
Hello, great article!! I wish I sent it to my son’s preschool teachers before I pulled him out 🙁
My 4 years old used to try to run away from class and if stopped he was hitting the teachers. This went on for a few months and the teachers had no idea what to do. I (mom) searched on line and gave them some suggestions but they failed miserably anyway. He picked up this hitting habit since starting that school, where they labelled him as “bad boy”. Now I am keeping him home working hard to undo what they did 🙁
He is usually a sweet boy who loves hugs and kisses.
Angel says
How is he doing know. I had a similar problem with my son. He behaves well with one teacher and has problem with another.
Tired of parent enablers says
Yes, its the teachers fault your son is hitting TEACHERS. Come on lady lol. My toddler knows not to hit. Sounds to me your kid has authority or discipline problems. It IS possible for your child to behave differently at school because it sounds like you don’t hold him accountable.
Ann says
I agree.charity begins at home.. could it be that your son has been hitting others,or you at home,and you never disciplined him?I think parents expect too much from teachers…if You failed to teach him about what is good and bad,how do you blame someone else?now,what good will come from letting your child stay at home?let him learn how to live in the society..you shield him too much…he needs to face issues,not run away from them.. take him back to school.
Preschool Teacher/Parent says
Tired of the Parent Enablers, I couldn’t agree more. I’m a preschool teacher and a parent and I see the differences between a child who hits and the parent thinks it’s all the teachers’ fault and a child who hits and is therefore spoken to/disciplined by the parent. The child who is disciplined stops after a day or two and the other keeps at it because they are lead to believe that they’re not doing anything wrong. Now, don’t get me wrong, there are also teachers who can do a better job of taking control of the classroom, however when you have a parent who is convinced their child never does anything wrong, it rubs off on the child and they are then convinced themselves that they are never in the wrong.
Deborah Selph says
What was your suggestions to the teacher? I’m a substitute teacher looking for Pointers
Heidi N. says
This list is great. I would also add routine. I have noticed that even if the times are slightly off, the children thrive knowing what to expect next.
One big problem I have is that I have 2 co-teachers that don’t see things the way I do all the time. I think a 2 year old sitting for 15 minutes with minimal movement is amazing. They see a squirmy child that needs to sit by them or on their lap to be controlled. I am not sure how to reconcile our styles.
Allison McDonald says
Absolutely yes!
Kelly says
Do not over schedule your projects/activities. Preschool should be fun. When you stress out about not getting to all of your projects, the kids feel it and reflect that back to you. Be willing to adjust on the fly. Maybe you can push that extra project to next week, or maybe you can let it go. Your kids will appreciate not being pushed to get through too much in a short time frame.
Allison McDonald says
Yes – the vast majority of your day in preschool should be free choice. Great tips!
Sarah says
Before staying at home with my kids, I taught K and 1st for 7 years. I definitely had to learn a lot about classroom management in the first few years. Even though I came a long way in the 7 years and am currently no longer teaching, I found this article really helpful and awesome! Love the way you put a positive spin on correction and subtly comment on good behavior. Will definitely bookmark this for sometime down the road when I go back into teaching! Thank you!!
Allison McDonald says
I am so glad this is helpful for you – I re-read it on rough days with my own kids too!
Florena Valencia says
I want to thank you for sharing. I needed this four years ago. Every day is a teachable moment. Now that I have all your advice I am ready to return to my classroom soon as this pandemic is over.
Gina Gillie says
Check your Grumpys at the door no matter what your morning at home was like or on the commute to work. Have a happy greeting for every teacher and and every student. And keep that positive attitude going throughout everyday. Happy soft voice. Get down low – eye to eye conversations with a child with a calm gentle voice will go a long long way with even the most challenging behaviors.
Amber says
Love this!! This is my 7th year teaching Pre-K- and I absolutely agree that it is our job to make our environment meet the needs of our children! Also, making meaningful connections with the children on a personal level- is very beneficial with classroom management!
Amy H says
I’m a first year pre-K teacher and this past week was the worst I’ve ever had. This article was a nice reminder of things I can do more of!
Allison McDonald says
I cried a lot my first year of teaching PreK – hang in there. There is a great book that helped me so much, here it is ( affiliate link) http://amzn.to/2gKbKpc
Christa Sellers says
Can I use these in a training class for preschool teachers? I will site the source.
Allison McDonald says
Yes!
Debbie says
I’m a student teacher and I’ve found your website very helpful. I can’t wait to get my own group of inquiring little minds! You and I are spot on with the behavior management techniques…no shame, only love and connection. The pre-k teacher I’m working under doesn’t understand this. I seriously doubt she would agree with anything you or I believe in this area. It’s sad to see her drive little ones to tears several times a day. She even admitted to me the other day that she knows she’s a monster. What’s wrong with this picture?
Allison McDonald says
Did she admit that? I am guessing someone is seriously burnt out!
Addy Brown says
Children are designed to orient themselves around their parents. When kids come to school, they look for an adult to follow. To be the adult a child wants to follow, connect warmly to that child.
John Green says
We need to understand the psychology of student in the modern world of education. Childrens that are the “peacemakers” is more important to change the problems of the real world. Children need a positive atmosphere to contribute to the creative activities in education. It is very important to provide them with a peaceful class environment so that their mental ability to solve the problems without any negative biases can enhance.
John Green says
Children are the peacemaker and they tend to learn creatively in their initial stages of education. Peaceful environment in classes can enhance the ability of critical thinking of the students so that they can participate in healthy discussions of all departments of education. It is a great article that highlighted the core points behind the psychology of students. Thanks for sharing this information.
Michelle Sharkey says
Great Article!!
Allison McDonald says
Thank you!
Emma Smith says
Useful tips, this way we can teach the child easily.
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Sandra says
Am I allow to print the 10 tips and post it in classrooms?
I love them , it will help a lot of the teachers to see them everyday .
Allison McDonald says
Of course!
Meghana says
Amazing information, thanks for sharing this.
Beth says
YOU ARE SOOOOO RIGHT!! This list kicks behind! I have been teaching little ones for 15+ years and everything on this list is accurate!