All behavior is communication, especially disruptive behavior, but when you are working with very young children, that communication can be hard to understand. As a preschool teacher, you have to manage the behavior at the moment while deciding what that child is trying to tell you. Here are my tips for handling disruptive behavior in a preschool class. As you will see in this list, most of the advice is about you and your actions, not the child’s, because a child is an autonomous being, and no amount of fantastic teaching can magically change an out of control preschool class, change or prevent disruptive behavior 100%, but we can react to it appropriately, with love and kindness.
Help, I have an out of control preschool class!
Before you can address specific disruptive behaviors, look at your environment. Have you set it up to be peaceful? Use these tips from this post I wrote about a peaceful classroom to create a supportive classroom environment for your students. When children know what to expect, it’s much easier to be calm and engaged; they aren’t looking to control everything and everyone if they feel like they are in control. Using a class schedule like these visual schedules can help. If group time is your sore spot, check out this post about how to handle a disruptive child at circle time.
Remember that connection is key, you need to spend the time connecting with your students to build trust and a relationship with natural authority before you can expect to be able to get the best behavior out of the students with tactics other than fear. Anyone could make a preschool class behave with fear, but the consequences of that tactic are just not worth it. Have you ever noticed how children will act up for substitutes or after a few weeks of school the quiet, well-behaved child turns a corner and starts acting up? Those children need a stronger connection. Our first reaction after we manage the misbehavior should be to play with that child even more to build that connection.
But what about in the moment when a child hits, or just won’t stop running in the classroom, or screams in the middle of group time? Let me address everything from hitting to how to handle a disruptive child during circle time.
- In the moment, stay calm. Even if the behavior rattles you, it’s your job to keep control, and the best way to do that is to stay calm. This child may be throwing your classroom into chaos for a minute or two ( it can seem like forever ), but it will return to normal much faster if you don’t raise your voice or show big emotions.
- Tend to any child who has been hurt. Encourage the hurt child to use their words to tell the child who hurt them that they don’t like it when they hit, bite, push… If the child who did the hurting can help you, have them get a tissue for the crying child or some ice. Having them help make the situation better is a much more productive action than saying sorry and running off to play.
- When a child runs in my class I remind them to use slow walking feet in the class by saying something positive like this “Let’s run when we go outside, inside we walk.” if the behavior continues, I walk up to the child and say ” I see you are having a hard time walking in class today. Do you want to go play at the water table or with the play dough?” Often children who are running are just not engaged. Helping them to find something to engage them can usually curb that behavior. I will also help them practice walking because for some children running is the default. Running is not defiance; it’s usually excitement, be gentle and try to figure out how to engage the child to stop the behavior instead of punishing them.
- Outbursts at group time can be addressed with proximity. If you have another adult in the room, you can say, ‘ Henry, I see you need help sitting/ not touching your friends/ not talking at circle time. Ms. Robyn will help you.” Make sure that when you do this, you are not than treating sitting with the other teacher as a huge punishment; we are offering scaffolds for good behavior. The other teacher should welcome the child and quietly support them. If you are without another adult, you can do the same with your lap, a spot right next to you on the rug, or try moving the child to another area with positivity.
What about destructive behavior? Throwing toys? Writing on walls? How do you handle preschool behavior problems?
- If a child intentionally makes a mess like writing on a wall or pouring paint on the floor have them help you clean it up. This happens in our sensory area from time to time, and my go-to course of action is 1. Help me clean up. 2. You are done in that area for the day. I don’t make it a huge punishment I simply say something like “You need to choose another area to play, maybe tomorrow you will be ready to play with the sensory table appropriately, we can try again tomorrow.”
- When a child is throwing toys, calmly tell them that when you go outside, they can throw some balls, and ask them if they would like to play catch with you when you go out for recess. Then ask them to help you collect the toys they threw. If the toy throwing was aggressive, clear the space of other children, who could get hit by anything, and then remove anything the child can throw from their reach. Calmly say, ” I can see you are really angry; I can’t let you throw toys at your friends, it could hurt them, and I need to keep everyone safe.” Offer the child an alternative outlet. The window for simply saying we can’t do that here and expecting compliance is long since passed. We need to calm the child before we can get them back on track. Playdough, squeezy toys, calm down jars… this is a great time for those types of resources. Many years ago, I had a student who struggled with angry outbursts, and after months of trial and error, we discovered that bubble wrap was calming for him. Just keep trying.
What about potty talk? Playing with their private parts? This is all par for the course with preschool behavior management. You got this!
- Potty talk is an interesting one because every family has different levels of what’s appropriate and what isn’t. This is something I try not to get into power struggles over. If it’s persistent, usually going up to the child and simply saying ” Do you need to use the potty?” They usually say no, and I return with “Oh I heard you talk about potty stuff, so I thought you needed to go.” This normally does the trick. Teachers need to be careful about who you say this to and how they say it. I never say it in a threatening tone; the potty is not a punishment. I say it like I really think that’s why they were talking about poop with a positive tone of voice. Also, look at who the child is talking to. A solution could be as simple as separating two children for a little while until they have moved on from the potty talk. Never send a child to the potty as a punishment for potty talk, I have seen this, and while parents can use this at home if they desire, it’s not appropriate behavior management for preschool.
- The body is an amazingly interesting thing, and children have every right to explore their own bodies without shame. However, the classroom is not the place to do this. If a child is touching themselves, I address it a few different ways; if they seem to be uncomfortable, I ask them if they are ok, they could have had a small accident, or have a rash, etc… If they are simply playing, I will tell them that their private parts that are covered by underwear are private, meaning they are just for them to see and touch. They can go to the bathroom or wait until they are home to keep playing. Remember that a child’s motivation for this behavior is very simple, it feels interesting and good to touch themselves. Try not to assign the same reaction you would have if it were an adult, stay calm and positive.
After the disruptive behavior is addressed
- Evaluate what lead up to the behavior. Was there too much noise in the class? Is group time too long? Should we have our snack earlier? Is that child going through any big changes at home? Are the activities too boring? Too challenging? Does the child need help to establish friendships? Is there a pattern?
- If the same child is acting out consistently start a behavior log. Jot down when and where their behavior takes a nose dive. This will help you look for patterns. If you know that Henry always acts out at the sensory table, you can make sure an adult is there to help him make positive choices from now on.
- Keep parents in the loop. I don’t suggest every time a child is defiant or acts out you call the parents but if you are seeing a pattern make sure you are communicating with the parents. When parents and teachers work together the child benefits.
What about special needs?
I have used all the tactics above in classrooms with children with special needs however when a child has special needs that affect his or her behavior, you often need very specific tactics for behavior management, and even the day-to-day can be varied. This is where working closely with parents, any other professionals in the child’s life, and of course, your administration is key. If you are in a public setting, you should have a 504 or an IEP to follow but if you are a church, private, or daycare you may have to take the lead to advocate for the child’s needs in your class. I will say this; when you know the child’s needs surpass that of your school, you must let the parents know, that children deserve to be in an environment where they get their needs met and sometimes that is not our preschool classrooms. Part of our jobs as professionals is to find the programs that can meet our students’ needs even if they are not our, a great place to start is your state or provincial early intervention program.
What tips do you have for dealing with disruptive behavior at preschool? Tell me all about them in the comments.
If you are interested in getting the best behavior out of your students it’s more than just addressing behavior when it is challenging. Learn more with my FREE 7 day e-course. Learn more here.
Bita Reilly says
It all sounds very nice! Although I am not sure how practical and effective the solutions are. For example, I have tried your solution to stop potty talk for different groups of preschoolers to no avail! I remember last year I had a 4 year old boy who used potty words all day long in different situations. I told him that potty words belong to potty and he can use them as much as he wants when he is in bathroom. I do feel guilty that I did take him to bathroom some times to let him use his potty words, especially when he was sitting at lunch. It was the only thing that stopped him using the potty words during lunch or snack because he really wanted to eat!
Allison McDonald says
We are all human and every child is different, there is no 100% right way of handling every situation because the child is a wild card. The main idea is to stay calm, stay positive, be a good role model and remember that any behavior that you want to see a child do and they aren’t doing will take time and repetition in order for it to blossom.
Dalila says
I agree with you. Love and patience is the clue.
Sharon says
Thank you very much. This really helps alot ..i have a much better understanding as to how to handle misbehaving situations.
Regards
Sharon Januarie
Penny Kendrick says
I have a child that will hit me, bite me, and try to push me down. He’s aggressive also toward the kids. He runs away. He climbs in furniture. He screams. When I try to take him by the hand and guide him back to the circle, he pulls away and runs. He is stronger than me and besides I’m not suppose to put hands on him. When he doesn’t want to sit in the chair, he kicks it and will hit someone with it. I can’t turn my back. Besides
when I did turn my back,
he hit me with with fists and started to beat me like a drum. I have given him choices, given him wats to earn hourly rewards, and
I have used all the tools I have in my tool box. . I think he is on the autism spectrum, but cannot say this as I’m not “qualified” . The mother also wants help for her child and the correct placement; however, this is public pre k and I have to go through all sorts of hoops – like behavior plans, antedotal notes, interventions one on one and keep records on this. When I’m doing this, all my time is going to him and I’m not teaching the class. Consequently, my class is behind and now I have others acting like him to get attention like he does. help!
Olga says
O like the suggestions some of them I do
Saleha says
V nice post
I use kindness as a tool of best stable environment.childern can’t ignore love with little patience they turn back to do what others are doing in the class room
Mr. Haddad says
Most teachers keep a distance from their disruptive students as they have no energy nor patience to deal with them. This, however, makes the situation worse. i suggest that yo keep them closer and make them feel popular and loved (knowing that they are not!). I don’t teach lower grades but my approach works in every class and every subject. Instead of give them the pleasure of trigger my irritation, I give them responsibilities beyond their duties. For instance, I make them my assistants, helping in simple and diverse chores: distribute handouts, erase the whiteboard, help other students with more…. at the end of the day, they act disruptively because they need to be recognized and loved, and that’s how i make them feel….it works!!!
Christal says
This is a great idea for older kids but in my 3’s and 4’s class it isn’t practical to have kids as helpers beyond our daily assigned helper roles. While yes preschoolers can do a lot, there aren’t many jobs that need to be done/jobs they can do in the moment.
Patti says
Wow??!!! I’d say it’s time to expand your Mindset and come up with more creative options as far as jobs/Classroom responsibilities go. There are as many as you can create… it’s up to you!
amanda says
I agree you can make many jobs. It does not go unnoticed by the other children. If you have one or two with behavior issues and you always have to keep them close it takes time away from the other children and is noticed.
Jayne Henderson says
I have so many children with non-compliance issues it is almost impossible to deal with them all. I have several who tantrum when they do not get what they want or if someone else has something they had or want (like a toddler, though they are 4 or 5 year olds.) I also have several aggressive children who hit, pull hair, push when they have any strong emotion. I also have those that intentionally antagonize others. There are 20 children and myself and an associate. I am constantly putting out fires as they scream at each other for simply being in proximity to each other. It has been very difficult. If you have suggestions I would love to hear them cause I am at my wits end.
Allison McDonald says
Have you read anything by Dr. Becky Bailey? I think her work is what you need to look into. With that level of behavioral challenges, I think that I would look at a big re-structure because something is off, they aren’t responding to what you have already tried which doesn’t mean you have done anything wrong, it’s just not a good fit.
https://consciousdiscipline.com/ – in full disclosure I have worked with her brand on one sponsored post but I have no ongoing relationship at all.
Tonya says
Jayne, If you figure it out please share. I have 15 boys and 5 girls full day preK. We use Conscious Discipline and I think it has value. The key is building relationships (IMO). My issue is doing this with a high number of aggressive behaviors, tantrums, etc. Honestly, 20 four year olds is too many, even with an aide.
K says
I completely agree. I have over 40 (PreK-Kinder); two classes of 22. Even when it’s just 20-24, it’s madness. When the entire group is together (very rare) with 40, we usually have 3 teachers. But lately one teacher has had to cover another class elsewhere. I’m interested in the answer of juggling multiple behavior issues in one group too. Thanks.
angela leever says
I recommend Becky Bailey as well. It really does start with setting up the environment appropriately, setting clear visual schedules with developmentally appropriate activities. When many children are having difficulty we need to look at the environment and our reactions to their behavior. I find that children who tend to not know where they are supposed to be or what they should be doing have far more behavior issues. Telling a group the expectation is often not enough. Having visuals clear is so so helpful. Also making sure you are not doing too many sitting quiet and listening activities, especially back to back. Have them vary and do a lot of hands on and sensory activities. Giving warnings before a transition, a clear signal for that transition (song is played, special alarm/buzzer) too often we just give verbal directions and expect kids to follow. We need to involve more of their senses.
Also be aware of how much attention kids are getting for their negative behavior, and be sure that the positive attention they get from staff exceeds the corrections. Catch them being good! Good luck!
Bob says
One possible solution for a period of sanity is to have 5 centers (dress up, large legos, music with headphones, coloring and playroom are examples). You and your aide then hand out pictures of all the children and have a file folder with 4 clothes pins at each center. Then have the children line up, or put away toys. Let the most compliant pick the center they want to play at. When the children have filled the 4 clothes pins with pictures, the child must pick another center. Set a timer for 10 minutes, then have the children sing a song; and repeat the process. Do this 4 times and an hour has passed. This rewards following directions, and is a fair way to do it.
Ambie says
Hi there, this sounds exactly like the class I have now. It is very difficult to practice PBIS with so many challenging behaviors. Our minds tend to lean more towards behavior management that positive reinforcement with 20 children. Half of my class has challenging behaviors and we can barely get through a story or even large AND small group. We have a good team the 3 of us and we are constantly redirecting, singing songs to curb behaviors, and tailoring our group to the children’s interest. Our centers are engaging based on their interest and we always help the children through their emotions. We give them jobs (we have a job chart that we rotate everyday with 20 jobs so that every child has a role). Our kids are still Off The Chain.
We are loving and calm. We are firm when needed. I too would like some suggestions.
Shannon says
This is my life. I have 20 pre-k students. Half of the class is out of control. Several others mimic this behavior at times and it is unmanageable with me and my assistant only. With 2 adults how do you teach and deal with multiple students
running and screaming or throwing a tantrum at one time?! I can’t even get through a SHORT read aloud. I changed things today and had my assistant take 5 of the most difficult kids while I read to the rest and then I read to those 5 in close proximity on the carpet. That helped but I can’t do that all day long, there is not enough time in the day. Rest time is a nightmare. Half want to sleep, the other half need 1:1 to go to sleep. Just when we get one to fall asleep another screams and wakes them up. AGHHHHHH!
Makere Tarawa-Pari says
hi my son is nearly 3 he has started a new kindy february this year and over the last weeks he has started hitting and slapping other children he was never like that before and its got to the point where he doesnt wana go to kindy he tells me his friends hit him but iv expressed this to the teachers but they are saying its him and no else im thinking another child has hit him but my son is the 1 getting the blame and caught, and its got to the point where i have to pick him from kindy im so lost and dont no what to do im so close to moving him to another kindy
Ella says
When I hear potty words being used, I will compliment a child who is talking nicely and using nice words. This usually perks everyone’s ears up, and they all start talking nicely waiting for me to notice and compliment them.
I have even had a few children say, “Mrs. Xxxx, I am talking nicely too.”
…and, of course, I affirm them as well.
This attention is usually what the child using potty words is seeking anyways, and they are, for the most part, glad to change their behavior to hear praise.
dee says
Read Alfie Kohn. You will learn that you should not do that.
Nicole says
I am a preschool teacher and I have a child who has some behavior issues. For example, one day they were eating breakfast and everything was fine they were all chatting and all of a sudden he just started screaming in peoples faces so loud calling them a fire face. I was calm and tried to talk to him at his level and he pushes away and runs off. I would go and try talking to him again and he continues to run away laughing because he thinks it is funny. When he starts doing this i stop and try talking to him from where i am. He then goes to our puzzles and dumps them all out and jumped on them and kicked them and threw them. At this point he his throwing puzzle pieces at other people. i told him that he could hurt someone and he did not seem to care. By this point i had to call our director who had to come in and pull him out. but when they do and they bring him back and once they walk back out he his back to how it was. my co-teacher and i are at our wits end because we cant do anything with our kids because he keeps being disruptive whether it be on the carpet during circle or nap when he is running around at nap over other children. we have tried everything, giving him more attention giving him jobs nothing seems to work. our director and assistant director are getting mad/irritated because we keep asking for help and calling because of when he is doing. like today we were all playing a game on the carpet and he just gets up out of nowhere and gets on top of the tables jumping on them. any kind of advise would be great we are feeling desperate to try and get our class back in order.
Vickie says
The public preschool I teach at, we have classroom jobs. Theres the door holder, the table washer, the chair monitor, the plant helper, the greeter, the center inspector……….the list goes on and on for jobs for preschoolers!!
sandy schicker says
Potty words would be a nice change in my room, we have a child yelling out the f- word and another saying shut your stupid mouth. I am so nervous that I will have 14 four year olds repeating this but I am also trying to use positive behavior management by pointing out how others are using kind words and try to not focus on the “inappropriate” word choices. Today I walked the child who says “shut your stupid mouth”out (I had to do this twice) and firmly told him that these words were not okay in my room and I would speak to his mother if he talked this way to me or the other students again. I have realllllly tried the positive ( and always have for 10 years of teaching) but today I was done, and when I finished the “lecture” he knew I was done. I am hoping tomorrow he remembers but unfortunately I am not sure he will because all I taught him was I was the boss…and that barely works with a 4 year old because now his goal will be to gain control back! But then again I may be pleasantly surprised and maybe he really needed me to put my foot down! The other child using the f-bomb has so far not responded to anything and my boss and I have been busy logging to try to convince the parents to get him assessed for some help(he is very aggressive too). I know behavior management is always the biggest part of a well run classroom but this years challenges are getting confusing to the other students who are being told what is acceptable behavior, but see these two break the rules continuously. no amount of positive feedback from me can erase what they see and hear. A couple times a day I find myself needing to redirect a child who suddenly wants to see what they can get away with. I may need to back track to the beginning of the school year where I had my aid take these two to another room to work on puzzles while I ran circle time so I could gain respect and form a routine with the others. They had been doing great but now seem to be testing me and to remain in control of the group I am constantly straining to find the right words to avoid a negative reaction from the group but at the same time stay firm so they don’t forget our classroom rules. I usually see this type of behavior in June when we are constantly practicing for graduation and not following our daily routine.
Allison McDonald says
I am so sorry this comment got stuck in moderation! Did you try to do circle time without the other children? Have you found other things that work? When I have had very challenging behaviors, and I had a student very similar to the one you are describing, I would take as much time as I could, and some days it’s not much, to get close and connected to that child. This behavior seems like a powerplay but what is fueling that power play? Kids don’t just want power for no reason, they want it for security and control. They feel insecure or anxious and need to control everything or get the attention they need to feel that connection and security which they often do in incredibly unlovable ways. So how do we fix that? One way, and it takes time, is to connect and get to where you can be connected with lovable behavior not just destructive. Kids want to belong but they aren’t great at voicing that or acting in a way to foster that especially if they are feeling anxious or insecure.
Kathryne Esparza says
I find that the shorter sentences I use when redirecting, the better chance I have of them actually hearing and listening to what I’m saying. 5-10 words max. Possibly a further explanation if my initial statement got through to them.
Joyce Fattig says
I need a copy of how to handle preschool behavior in school?
How can I get a copy to give to my teacher so we can talk about this topic