Books About Death

5 books about death for kids

One of the guinea pigs in my son’s preschool classroom died and that sparked some questions, which sparked this post. This subject is one I wish never had to be taught but books are always good resources to help if and when it does. These picture books all deal with death and while reading them my son had questions and I had a hard time keeping it together. If you have a book you recommend about dying or death please share in comments.

I Remember Miss Perry by Pat Brisson is a great book.  There are some really wonderful aspects to this book that aren’t apparent at first but upon reflection really impressed me. The story is about a beloved teacher who is young, vibrant and one day tragically dies in a car accident. The rest of the book is devoted to how children grieve, from questions about if they will see her again to the realization that she wouldn’t want them to be sad and cry. I loved that the person who dies is someone important and close but not a family member. For children just learning about death it sort of eases them in. My son only kinda gets it , and his questions were more about if there was a firetruck and ambulance at the car accident than about death itself. He did understand and relate to the grief though, and how it’s OK to be sad when someone dies. The other wonderful thing I found was that she died in an accident, she wasn’t sick, it was sudden. SO often we teach our kids that people die when they are old or sick, and that just isn’t always true. Obviously this is an intensely personal subject and up to every family how and when they broach it , but that is what I liked.

Rudi’s Pond by Eve Bunting is about two friends, one who is sick and dies and the other who is left to grieve. What I liked about this book was that a child dies. OK I hated that too and had to take more than a few moments to compose myself while reading this to my son but it’s a useful book for those who need it. Kids get sick, kids die and this is a good book about ways to remember friends when they do. I think the way that the little girl dealt with her sadness was honest and wonderfully portrayed.

Jim’s Dog Muffins by Miriam Cohen doesn’t beat around the bush. The first line informs the reader that Jim’s dog was smushed by a truck.  At first I thought, uh no , this books is not one I am going to like but I really do. The author has a knack of writing the story the way young kids deal with things. Kids are blunt and so is this story. I really liked that Jim got angry when a classmate suggested to him that being sad doesn’t help , and loved their teacher’s response too. Another good book about a tough subject.

The Heart and the Bottle by Oliver Jeffers is a metaphorical book about steeling one’s heart to loss. A little girl and her grandpa are shown doing everything together, on adventures and imagining great things, until one day she goes to him and his chair is empty. It’s then that she decides to put her heart in a bottle. Not until she is much older and a child fishes the heart out of the bottle does she sit down in the chair and imagine ones again. I love this book, my son liked it but kept asking me if her Grandpa would be back. I didn’t explain he was dead . I did have to explain that he could not take his own heart out of his body and place it in a bottle.  A great book for adults , but kids will enjoy it even if they don’t get it.

That Summer by Tony Johnson. I read this at the library alone knowing that my 3 year old wasn’t ready for a book about death quite yet. I didn’t even try to conceal my tears, I wasn’t crying I was sobbing.  The book is about the summer that one little boy watches his brother Joey get sick and die from Cancer.  The author does a masterful job at relating grief, and the sadness of watching someone you love and don’t expect to die, get weak and leave you.  As Joey’s condition worsens he learns to quilt and ultimately it’s his brother who finishes his quilt. I can’t rave about this book enough it simply makes the reader get it, as much as you can without ever living this particular nightmare. The line that haunted me was ” I learned a lot that summer, how to grin when your heart is in shreds..” that was the line that forced me into the “ugly cry”.

Edited for Fall 2010 :  The above review was written almost a year ago and I didn’t re read the book this week. I am not so sure I am ready for my son to read this book though, it’s one I plan on reading him at some time but with the new addition of a sibling so recent I doubt a book about loosing one would be timely. Still it’s an amazing and touching book.

Comments

  1. says

    Thank you so much for these resources. Death is inevitable at some stage in most children’s lives and I lost my Dad to cancer this year. My children and I, live thousands of miles away from my parents, so they don’t see them often enough, but they had close bonds with both of them. His death has been difficult, from the standpoint that we are so far away and they didn’t really experience him deteriorate, so they are grappling with the fact that he’s gone. I also couldn’t afford to bring them to Ireland to the funeral, so it’s another part of the closure that’s missing. I have struggled to find books appropriate for them both, so thank you for posting these and helping children with some resources for a reality of life. : )
    Tricia
    .-= Tricia´s last blog ..Finding My Voice =-.

  2. Dalila says

    Thank you for sharing your thoughts and feelings. I’d love to recommend the books of Dr. Elisabeth Kübler-Ross on death and dying. Not children’s books, but a lot about dying children and children with losses, and a huge gift for all children if more grown ups get to share K-Ross’ knowledge and then communicate with them (their own and other people’s kids). Parts of it very controversial, but you’d find lots of things to learn important lessons from, no matter what you might not totally agree with or belive in. One of her most important messages is, I think, that children understand so so much more about the issues of death and dying than we think they do, and that they truly need us to acknowledge this :))
    With love from Norway.

    http://www.ekrfoundation.org/bio

  3. says

    These look like beautiful books. I love how they all approach death from different angles: sudden death, death after sickness, an adult sying, and elder dying, a child dying…all of those approaches give ample opportunity to choose which on will suit best for any given child. Or maybe all of them.

    Once Boo is a bit older and starting to ask questions, I’ll come back to this post for help. Thank you.
    .-= Sam´s last blog ..BBAW- Future Treasure – Experiences and Goals =-.

  4. Angela says

    Thank you for this post. My best friend died last week, and she was close to my son, he called her auntie…and is really crushed. As he is 9 years old, I think one of these stories will be helpful. Thank you for your web page.

  5. Cindi Ellison says

    Another great book for the loss of a pet is “The Tenth Good Thing About Barney” by Judith Viorst. It is a sweet book that really identifies with young children and their loss. As a 50 year old first grade teacher, and having lost my 18 1/2 year old day in June, this book was especially meaningful to me.

  6. Heather says

    City Dog, Country Frog starts to introduce the idea of a death of a friend. It opens up the conversation, but doesn’t force it.

  7. Melissa says

    Hi Cindi
    I am a 51 year old kindergarten teacher who lost her 19 and one half year old son . A book you may really relate to us the best grief book I ever read next to the bible us called Tear Soup.
    Bless you
    Melissa

    • admin says

      Oh Melissa I am so sorry for your loss. It made me tear up just reading your few words. I appreciate your suggestion as well. Looking for it at the library today!

  8. Chantel says

    When my husband and had a 26 week stillborn over this last summer, my church group got my 3 year old son a book called ‘We were going to have a baby, but got an angel instead’. Perfect for that age group and explaining that the emotions he was feeling were normal.

    • admin says

      Chantel I am so sorry for your loss but thank you so much for sharing – I am eager to read the book because i get requests for titles like this all the time. I know it will be helpful to others.

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